Posted in Short thoughts, Writing challenges

In the wake

Was it passion
or a clash of combatants?
always after the barrage
we’d advance reasons, excuses
scavenging the beach-head like gulls
before another treaty was signed

I lost my ring somewhere along that tideline
and pick forever amongst sea-drift
after the storm surge left

Just 44 words in a Storm for Quadrille #34

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Author:

playing with photography @ eljaygee whilst Tell Tale Therapy has a weakness for words

30 thoughts on “In the wake

  1. I like how you closed out the poem with these lines:
    “I lost my ring somewhere along that tideline/and pick forever amongst sea-drift/after the storm surge left:

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  2. I love the way you’ve piqued my interest with the question, Laura, hinting at passion on the beach or a lovers’ tiff – either way it is stormy in the lines:
    ‘we’d advance reasons, excuses
    scavenging the beach-head like gulls
    before another treaty was signed’
    and then that poignant image of a woman picking amongst sea-drift brought a tear to my eye.

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  3. The other comments said it all: storm as metaphor for a broken marriage. I read somewhere a broken relationship isn’t a lost relationship, it continues as a broken one.

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  4. I read this twice – both powerful reads. In the Wake — the title for me was the key the second time, knowing the ending. One stands in the wake – the rough path of sea that marks where one has been. The stormy relations here … not just once, evidenced by the words that a treaty was signed again. For me the line “I lost my ring somewhere” is more than simply losing a ring at the seashore…it’s perhaps losing the will to sign another treaty – and then standing alone, after the last storm surge, looking at the wake left behind. The ending of a relationship. One hopes the seas will gentle and soft breezes will come to assure this person there is a calm season, a refurbishing of life that will now come – to plant one’s feet firmly in the sand and walk on – your shadow stridently walking beside you.

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